


eternity.

by scrapnotez



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Crying, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, I cried while writing this, Kissing, M/M, Rain, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Sobbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 21:48:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30112527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapnotez/pseuds/scrapnotez
Summary: the universe is painful to you sometimes.in which san and wooyoung are separated unwillingly and they share their last moments together inside wooyoung’s home while it rains outside.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	eternity.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome and i hope you enjoy this !

San’s sobbing in his hands, too many thoughts running through his head, yet the only feasible thought being that he wanted this, even if it’ll make him feel worse than he already did. One last time, just one more chance of being held by Wooyoung.

“Tell me you want this. Or we’ll stop. I’ll stop. And then this will be over. It’ll be better for us San. To stop this.” Wooyoung deeply exhales, his eyes tightly squeezed closed. San’s never seen him on the verge of breaking down like this and it felt wrong to be in bed with him while they could barely even think, raindrops thudding on the roof one after another.

The atmosphere felt oddly romantic, and San found it ironic how the universe blesses them with the calming sounds of the rain outside, the room dimly lit with only their unstable breaths against each other’s faces. 

“I don’t want you to leave—not even your number? I’m not allowed to contact you at all? W-Wooyoung please tell me you’ll come back for me please—“ San pleads, his hands gripping tightly at Wooyoung’s arms and the other’s head just hangs low. San can see how he’s trying to bite back tears, his lips quivering from the rush of emotions that cloud his head.

“Sannie I don’t want it to end like this either— they’re forcing me to leave. We have today to ourselves, let’s enjoy it please.” Wooyoung whispers, a pained smile dawning his lips. His gentle but calloused fingers push back the stray strands of hair on San’s eyes and it hurts even more.

San wished he would treat him worse, not with those soft lovely eyes staring at him like he’s the most precious thing in the universe, not with those gentle touches. Those actions make it nearly impossible to forget what they had together. And it’ll all be gone the next day. 

Wooyoung’s arms are fully extended, gripping onto his own warm sheets that are under San’s body. He props himself up over San, staring into his eyes, and he wanted it to last for eternity. San’s eyes were beautiful, and he would never want to forget them, even after he leaves. The boy under him still looks unreal even with tears flowing down the sides of his face, soaking into the sheets. Even so, he smiles, for Wooyoung, for the both of them.

Their lips met each other and it felt different from those days they had first spent together. There was a lack of innocence, less curiosity, and more pain behind the kiss that they would have ever imagined. Neither of them can breathe properly but it’s the least of their worries. All San can think about is pulling the other closer, his warmth filling the space between them.  _ WooyoungWooyoung  _ was all that filled his head, and he never wants to let go. 

Wooyoung collapses onto the bed besides San, and San admires how the boy’s longer hair moves, how pretty his smile is, and how perfect he was. It should’ve been perfect for them, yet now, the clock was ticking and it felt too quick, too unfair. The universe was the unfairest of them all.

“Remember how you threw your milk carton at my face during lunch cause I was in a pissy mood that day?” Wooyoung laughs, tangling his fingers with San’s and gripping tightly, their hands interlocked like puzzle pieces. San replies with, “Of course I remember.” and there they continue to reminisce about all the times they spent with each other that led to now. Those were just memories now, and one day, they’ll be forgotten.

San ignores the feeling in his gut to start endlessly crying. He knew there were more precious things to listen to, Wooyoung’s voice that made him so happy and calm, the feeling of their hands together and their noses inches apart. 

  
  


_ It’ll be for eternity you said. _

  
  


They could both notice how they were trying so  _ fucking _ hard to keep a smile on their face, how they tried to keep their voices stable, without a constant quiver, yet it was obvious how they were breaking apart, minute by minute. Those minutes felt like mere seconds.

Wooyoung pulls out knick knacks that San’s seen before, but he’s never wanted to see them more in this moment, wanting to treasure the love of his life’s memories until the end of the world. Every crinkled school picture, every art project,  _ every little thing _ , he wanted to keep them in his mind for eternity.

Before they even know it, the sky’s turned even darker than before, the rain having gotten louder and more distracting. It resembled their hearts, trying to accept their fate, a false sense of acceptance, yet they knew they weren’t ready to part away from this life they’ve always known.

Time flies in the blink of an eye with Wooyoung never letting go of San, and even if he had to let go for a minute or two, he’d come running back just to feel his presence again. San’s touch was too precious to waste and Wooyoung needed to have it for as long as he could.

  
  


“It’s late. Let’s sleep.”

  
  


“No—— let’s talk more Wooyoungie! Right, we should do more and listen to some more songs and...and…” San babbles, trying to keep his happy front, but it was all too much, and the sight of him breaking into tears makes the other feel pain in the depths of his heart.

Wooyoung’s protective arms wrap around him and he squeezes tightly, their cheeks pressed against each other tightly, like they always did. 

  
  


_ Forever and always right?  _

  
  


“San-ah. It’ll be okay. Once you fall asleep, everything will be okay. You’re safe here. Even if I’m not here, you’ll be okay.”

“Wooyoung—— no  **_please_ ** please please——“

Wooyoung stays quiet, trying to hold in the scream he wants to let out, how the universe was punishing him like this even though he did nothing wrong. But the best he could do was stay calm and take care of San who had once been so fragile and small, now bigger and more visible. Alas, San’s temporary facade of independence was broken at the thought of being left alone again.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Sleep well for me. Just one last time, I want to see you sleeping peacefully beside me. Then I can leave at ease. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The moon had hid itself away and the sun had made itself known. Warm rays of light hit San’s skin and his breathing quickens just from the noticeably empty space beside him. He knows that it’s officially gone, his past life of happiness and the smiles of two innocent boys who were so madly in love. All he can feel is a pillow between his arms, and how much he  **_prayed_ ** for it to be Wooyoung.

The house sounds hollow and empty, yet Wooyoung’s room is still the coziest place ever, and San wants to run as far as he can, to forget the life he previously knew.

When San pushes himself up, there’s nothing, truly  **_nothing_ ** left, except for a folded up note, neatly placed on the bedside table, sealed with a fox sticker that painfully resembles Wooyoung. 

  
  


**_Wooyoung._ **

  
  


His shaky fingers peel open the note.

  
  
  
  
  


_ San-ah.  _

_ You have your entire life ahead of you. I’m glad I was part of this period of your life, and for me, it was the best part ever even if I don’t know what’s ahead. You’re a bright little kiddo right? Our precious Sannie!  _

_ I’m so sorry it had to end like this. San.  _

_ I love you. So much. To the end of the universe and back. Because San, you  _ **_are_ ** _ my universe, and if I were ever born again, I would want to be yours.  _

_ You’re the most precious boy to me. And I want you to be happy without me, because I’m not what makes Choi San. San, you’re you. And I hope you’ve finally noticed how precious you are. _

_ We’ll meet again someday. And I’ll wait for that day even if you forget about me. _

  
  
  


_ For eternity, for my universe, for my most precious boy, for the one I love the most and will never stop loving,  _

  
  
  


_ Forever yours, Jung Wooyoung.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  


San knows it now. He knows that he’s the most precious, because Wooyoung never lies to him.

  
  
  
  


**_Wooyoung-ah. I’ll believe you just this once._ **

**Author's Note:**

> hi, so i sobbed while writing this! and i hope you sob too haha jk (not really)! i know it doesn’t really say why they have to separate and lose contact but assume it’s like, wooyoung having to move away for better education or something generic like that. one shots are really good writing practice for me and i’m really proud of this even if it’s a bit short. i hope you enjoyed this!


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